Going gray

Posted Dec 28, 2022 Updated Oct 14, 2023

statue of a nymph drying her hair

By Charity Fretty

4 min read

My experience with dye-strip technique to transition to gray hair.

Update #2 October 2023: The last of the orangey-brown ends are gone. I’ve got 100% natural hair. Whoa. The transition took 21 months.

Update February 2023: I’m gonna try and let it grow and do something with the ends in a few months. Dye? Chop? Who knows. Stay tuned.

I can do nothing about the fact I am aging. So I have decided to lean in to my transition to crone (or swamp witch). (My new identity varies, based on my current mood.)

A natural dark brunette who has had gray hairs since my twenties, I resemble my grandmother who went totally and beautifully white in her thirties.

I have attempted and failed to go gray a few times over the years, for example:

Over a decade ago I stopped dying, aka the “cold turkey” method. This lasted a few months until my sister pointed at the crown of my head and said: “What’s going on there?”. I noped right back into my colorist’s chair. Not ready.
Five years ago, my colorist tried to transition me to ash blonde. It was a lovely color, but oh, I hated what the bleach did to the condition of my hair. My coarse hair felt like straw and fell out of my head by the handful. After several months, I backed out.

I missed an opportunity at the start of the pandemic to begin the transition to gray, but I had plenty of time to research ways to embrace the gray.

I found a method called the dye-strip technique. You dye only a single, narrow strip of hair along your side-part, and allow the rest of your head to grow in gray. Color about 1/4 inch (6 mm) on either side of your part, more or less, front to back. The narrow dyed strip is enough to cover up most of your head, including the awkward grow-out underneath. When your gray hair has grown, switch your part to the other side. Stop dying, and allow the last dyed section to grow out. It is now covered by your natural gray hair.

December 9, 2021 was my last all-over dark brunette dye. I joined a gray hair support group on Facebook. In January, I made a plan with my colorist.

Now that it’s been a year, I want to share my experience with the dye-strip technique. I have made it pretty far, and this might be it. A rule of thumb with hair growth is “a year to your ear” and that rings true with my experience.

This attempt might have worked, but it hasn’t been as smooth as I wished.

Once or twice my colorist colored a strip of hair far wider than necessary, like nearly half my head. I don’t know why, likely out of habit or because she was unfamiliar with this process. The result was more brassy calico coloring on that side once the area began to fade.

My colorist felt guilty charging for a full color when she was only doing a narrow strip. This caused her more angst than me. In my opinion, the effort and processing time was the same. So while it took her less time to apply, the amount of work was the same for her. If I had it to do over, I would’ve tried dying the strip myself. If you’re like me and not comfortable dying your own hair, recognize this could be an issue and discuss with your stylist. Can they offer a discount for less product used, or skip the blowout and style?

All dyed hair fades to orangey (dark browns, blacks) or brassy (blondes) tones. The top layer near my face on both sides is more damaged, so these show the worst of the brassiness of the last of my dye.

While growing out gray hair from dyed, it is common to have several colors going on at once: the old dye color, the new white or silver (salt), new dark (pepper), orange or brass from fading color. You can look quite like a calico cat. My calico effect was bad in September (month 9). To help soften the effect, my colorist bleached baby highlights at my demarcation line and applied a deep ashy toner. It was lovely until the toner faded.

From now on, we will tone only, no more strip, no highlights. I hope to manage by using toners and cutting my hair as short as I can bear. I want to be rid of the old dyed ends as soon as possible.